|
|
the predicate that's left unsaid
|
|
|
| Year end survey |
[25 Dec 2006|01:38pm] |
What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Walk from uptown to downtown Gallup just to borrow a freakin' book from the library, only to find out the freakin' library's freakin' closed for the holidays. I really don't have to memorize American holidays now do I? You may read about this experience here. I also got published at Youngblood, October 14, 2006.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't recall making any for 2006, but I have loads to make (and hopefully fulfill) this coming year.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope. Maybe next year.
Did anyone close to you die?
Tito James.
What countries did you visit?
I just came back from the States early this year.
What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
A new cellphone! My hand-me-down Nokia's so kawawa na.
What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Althroughout May-December, because I made by far the best and worst decisions in life.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Making the abovementioned best decisions.
What was your biggest failure?
Going through the same mistakes over and over again.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
I suffered the worst illnesses in 2006! So bad that I was finally rushed to the E.R. last Wednesday. I relapsed a lot.
What was the best thing you bought?
My cheap imitation iPod Shuffle, which works ever so perfectly up to this very day.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
My dad's. He finally quit smoking, and is now gaining weight!
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine, apparently.
Where did most of your money go?
My OB-GYN, gastroentorologist, and the St. Luke's blood and ultrasound lab. Hehe.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Boracay with Team Seabird and my officemates (May and June respectively)
What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
"So Sick" by Ne-Yo, "It's Good to Be in Love" by Frou Frou, "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? -- sadder. But I'm not depressed. 2005 was just a happier year for me is all.
ii. thinner or fatter? -- thinner. I lost around 8 lbs. in a span of 2 weeks because of those damned relapses.
iii. richer or poorer? -- a tad bit richer I guess. Then again, I had dollars last year...
What do you wish you'd done more?
Use my head instead of just plain impulse.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Be stupidly impulsive thinking I was invincibly in high school again.
What was your favorite TV program?
Wowowee!!! I'm not kidding!!! And Everwood, Next Top Model, Project Runway.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes. Hehe.
What was the best book you read?
"Eragon" by Christopher Paolini. Hands down.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
James Morisson!
What did you want and get?
A wonderful boyfriend.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Happy Feet!
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22 last August. August 21's a national holiday, so I was in Tagaytay the entire day with my boyfriend, then had a simple dinner and good cheesecake at home with my family.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I was thinking of second chances, but then I realized, I had them the entire time.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
50% corporate, 50% garage band.
What kept you sane?
Doing freelance on the side. Art. My boyfriend.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Vic Agustin! Mwahahaha!
What political issue stirred you the most?
Nothing really spectacular happened politically in 2006, so nada.
Who did you miss?
Wilf.
Who was the best new person you met?
Ian Roxas, Yole Frejacques, and my boyfriend.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
You will eventually become too old to still allow yourself to learn things the hard way.
What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
"You're everything I've ever wanted and more." Guess from who.
The most touching experience you've had this year?
Being able to talk with my Dad like I never had before.
What did you like most about yourself this year?
They say I'm even more feisty now. Hehe. But seriously, what I love most is that I know what I truly want in life, and I'm all set to go out there and get it.
What did you hate most about yourself this year?
I kind of had the tendency to hold on to the past. And again, I was extra impulsive this year. It's annoying.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth..." (from "Oh Holy Night")
Was 2006 a good year for you?
It was what I needed.
What was your favorite moment of the year?
When I got published in Youngblood.
What was your least favorite moment of the year?
When I was rushed to the E.R.
Where were you when 2006 began?
Gallup, New Mexico.
Who were you with?
Mom, Marty, other relatives, and Filipino families.
Where will you be when 2006 ends?
In the South.
Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
Cousins and maybe some of my friends.
Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?
Yes.
What was your favorite month of 2006?
Now. Simply means it's about to end in a few days. Hehe.
Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
2005? Wilf.
Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Wilf.
What was your favorite record from 2006?
"Then and Now" by The Who. Although technically, it's a 2005 recording.
How many concerts did you see in 2006?
Zero!
Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2006?
Yes. Hehe.
Do a lot of drugs in 2005?
Prescribed by numerous doctors I've visited this year. Bah.
You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Yes.
How much money did you spend in 2006?
I don't want to know.
What was your proudest moment of 2006?
Youngblood.
What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
Secret.
If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?
Nothing. I live sans regret.
What are your plans for 2007?
I don't usually plan, but if there's anything, I plan to continue trying to be a better person.
How are you different now that the year has ended?
More open minded, hopefully less impulsive.
What are your wishes for the new year?
I wish that I'll willingly and responsibly be bringing along everything I've learned in 2006 and happily leave behind everything that needs to be buried forever into eternity.
|
|
| Roni: Batang Kalye |
[18 Dec 2006|10:37pm] |
|
Born and raised in downtown Quezon City (I'm speaking in figurative terms here, since there isn't exactly such a thing as downtown QC), Roni (or Karla to some people), is a true blue batang kalye. Her parents were actually known for their ridiculously overprotective traits--they didn't allow Niña, Roni's Ate, to play with their neighbours, because they were uhugin... READ MORE...
|
|
| Anything to stop clockwatching |
[18 Dec 2006|05:37pm] |
I was just blog surfing and I realized that a lot of young people my age right now are kind of going through the same thing I'm going through right now...
We're all getting sick.
Is this some sort of an acute quarter life syndrome? Are we still trying to adjust to worklife and would give anything to be in college (or if we're lucky, high school) again? But it's been two years since graduation. Does it really take that long to assimilate into the yuppie life?
My sick leave counter's surely overused -- I filed for these precious points countless times now. In a span of, what, 8 months, I've already had numerous consults and lab exams. I've been punctured by blood lab needles for godknowshowmanytimesnow. Med techs are now my new berks.
I was talking to a pal this afternoon. I was telling him, "Dying young is overrated." But the mere thought of it (and the possibility thereof) gives me the creeps. Even more so now that it seems like we're all getting sick. But my pal was right. I'm crazy. I'm not gonna die young.
Best thing to do right now I guess, is to rebuild the healthier me. Best of luck to that, now that I'm even more tired than ever before, in all things...
Good thing I'm still generally happy.
|
|
| Cheers! |
[07 Dec 2006|02:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Beach Boys - Santa's Beard |
] |
Last weekend, we celebrated Crazy Hazey's 23rd birthday bash in Astoria. She rented a two bedroom suite for those who didn't want to drive back after partying with Mr. Johnny Walker and our patron saint Miguel. We had too much to eat, too much great house and trance music to dance to, too much to catch up on (even if we see each other every single freakin' day anyway), and way too much to drink.
And yes, Lord Absinthe did it all for us that night.
Mark and I ordered from a true blue supplier and we drove all the way somewhere down South (keeping safe) to pick it up in an old warehouse. It was so dingy that Mark suggested that I stay inside the vehicle and lock up while he picks up the pretty bottle. There were thousands of designs to choose from - we got the one with the Van Gogh portrait.
And so, the night began until Johann - one of Hazey's rip-curl-billabong-roxy -quiksilver friends (obviously fellow surfers, in other words) - finally took charge of mixin' up our good ol' bottle o' sixty eight's (just 2 measly notches below isopropryl!). Mark and I dropped by DEC to get sugar cubes, and surprise, Johann had that extremely rare talent of being able to mix shots of Absinthe perfectly with granulated sugar. It tasted fantastic.
Most of us took Absinthe for the first time, and of course, where there are Absinthe virgins, there will also be funny, memorable moments to look back on...
Just take a look at these anonymous dialogues...
"Wooo! Isa pa, (insert Anonymous Person #1's name here)! Isa pa!
"*shakes head* Di na. Sasabog na mukha ko."
Anonymous Person #2 takes one shot.
After 5 minutes...
"Chuwithart! Sekse mo!"
Anonymous Person #3: "Lintek na Absinthe yan, baka ma-absent ako ah!"
I had 4 shots of Absinthe, and the can of San Mig Light I took after seemed like tap water. It was indeed a crazy, crazy night.
Oh and by the way, my temperature shot up Sunday night and I had to stay home to recuperate the following day!
And the moral lesson of this entry is?
Drink moderately?
Hell no.
Just don't drink at all.
Right. :P
|
|
| More on Lord Paolini and Death by Hanging |
[05 Nov 2006|11:07am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sinta - Sugarfree |
] |
Surfed the net (man, it's been ages since I last used that phrase. Besides, do people still use that term, surf?) on Eragon the movie. Checked out the casting and here's my two cents worth:
On Eragon
My boyfriend warned me that the actor who played Eragon looked a little too pretty and suburban for his taste. I thought this was perfect. I've always pictured Eragon to have those golden locks, big blue eyes, a perfectly tanned complexion and a hot bod. Strangely, I've always imagined him to have such boyband features, so kudos to the director for making Eragon groupies' dreams come true.
On Arya
She's alright. I originally imagined her to look more mature. After all, elves are supposed to have lived since cockroaches first roamed the earth. But then I realized that not all elves are supposed to look like Liv Tyler, so this'll do.
On Brom
A bit disappointed. I wanted Jeremy Irons to play Galbatorix, not Brom! He played Scar after all, so why is he all of a sudden taking on a protagonist's role? And besides, I had always imagined Brom to look way older and way scragglier than Jeremy Iron's perfectly groomed goatee. Then again, I'll have to see him play it first before capping off my judgement.
On King Galbatorix
Again, I hope that I got it all mixed up, because as far as I know, John Malkovich would be better off playing Brom than King Galbatorix. Maybe he and Jeremy Irons accidentally switched scripts or something.
On Murtagh
He kinda looks like Elijah Woods' evil twin who doesn't exactly take a bath regularly. The hygienic problem's actually perfect for the role of Murtagh but what is up with the Frodo Baggins semblance?
On the Shade and the Urgals
I had always pictured a Shade to look like an overripe Marilyn Manson, and the Urgals to look more like Orcs. But my friend has a point -- this is supposed to be the Harry Potter version of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy: we have to water it down a bit for the kids. Will there, by any chance, be another screen adaptation for people like me who prefer R-rated cinematography? Hehe.
********************
Okay, on to the morbid part. I just read one of my daily CNN newsletters and found out that Saddam Hussein, along with his half-brother and the former chief judge of the Revolutionary Court, were sentenced to death by hanging.
Death by hanging is such a bummer, don't you think? It's torturing, it's brutal, and it makes for really scary film moments such as the one from Girl Interrupted (why the hell did they have to play "End of the World" over and over again? I had nightmares for weeks because of it!).
Is it also a bummer even for Saddam Hussein and the gang? I couldn't answer this at once, which made me feel like the most merciless being ever to set foot on earth. I mean sure, Saddam's a person too. He has a soul too, or at least, he used to have one if he ever did sell it to the devil. He has a family, good memories, whatever. And most of all, he became one of Southpark's most memorable guests.
But why is it that it seems like he deserves to be punished this way? Sometimes it even feels like getting strangled by a piece of rope and accidentally peeing your pants in public won't cut it. It doesn't seem enough. Skin him alive! Tear out his fingernails one by one and dip his fingers in Klorox or something. Death by hanging is such a puny pathetic way to make him learn his lesson and rub it in once and for all.
This made me wonder afterwards why the hell I ended up a bit teary eyed watching the PNP take mug shots of Erap. Will the same thing happen when I watch Saddam being led to the rope? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. But the mere thought of such an uncalled for sympathy makes me feel better about myself. I guess I'm not so merciless after all.
|
|
| On Lord Paolini and My Much Needed Out of Town Refuge |
[03 Nov 2006|01:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 relaxed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Noel Cabangon - Dalampasigan ng Puso |
] |
And he's supposed to be younger than me? Genius freak. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I am one of his groupies.
I haven't even started Eldest yet. Ian told me she wanted to include me in an ANC interview on Eragon, buti na lang she didn't push through with it. I'm not THAT big of a fan, and I'm sure I would've sounded ignorant amongst the real Paolini freaks invited to the show.
I'm really excited to see the movie, even though my boyfriend said some parts of it, which he saw from the trailer, seemed different from what's in the book. I'm just excited to have my imaginations finally come to life through the silverscreen. I'm more excited about the Eragon screening than I was about Harry Potter. I just love this trilogy and I'm excited to cap it off with the third one, which isn't out yet. I heard it's gonna be called "The Empire". *shivers* I'm on the edge of my seat just thinking about it.
**********
I filed for vacay leave for the entire Halloween week, starting October 30 to November 2. Thanks to my boss of course, who was kind enough to give her consent. I was happy, I needed this break, even if it means goodbye Christmas. I went back to my province in Pangasinan.
It's been like forever since I last smelled igado and pinapaitan boiling in an antique kaldero, and that really brought back so many good memories. We take refuge in this old house located in Urdaneta, Pangasinan. Most of the gatherings, as well as the good food, take place there. I think I gained like ten pounds over the week. It's a good thing Mark and I are planning to enroll for boxing.
We visited Our Lady of Manaoag and the marketplace (for bagoong and sukang Iloko of course, what else?) during Halloween, and Lingayen during All Saints Day. I really enjoyed Lingayen. That's where everything started. My grandparents were born in Lingayen, my Mom was born in Lingayen and lived in that big old house until they moved to Manila when she turned 6 years old... so many memories that aren't even mine but I feel the nostalgia just as much. The old house is slowly dissintegrating, which is really sad, and I'm itching to buy the place when the opportunity arises so I can have the entire place refurbished.
It was a great All Saints holiday. I'm refreshed and actually excited to go back to work. It really must be the end times...
|
|
| Settle Not To Settle |
[20 Oct 2006|10:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mccarthy - Should the Bible Be Banned |
] |
 
I apologize for the crap visual. I no nothing about Adobe Photowhachamacallit.
I am my boyfriend's complete, utter opposite. Or is it that my boyfriend's my complete, utter opposite? Ok, I'm trying way too hard to make my first paragraph look longer than it should. Anyway, I'm not talking about him being Chinese and me being Filipino or any of that racial mumbo jumbo -- the last thing I need right now is for Filipinos to start complaining about how Chinese people are so damn unfair when it comes to getting into relationships with non-Chinese people, and vice versa. For heaven's sake, we should be all over that now shouldn't we? Pag-uuntugin ko lahat ng Pinoy at Intsik e! And don't even get started with the whole "it's not Intsik, it's Chinese" slur. Don't you dare.
What was I talking about? Oh, right.
I was talking about how my boyfriend's oh-so-wonderfully different from who I am. Usually, I won't even give my time of day to such folks, the "non-Roni's". I am totally in love with myself, thankyouverymuch. And I'd rather hang out with people who share the same good tastes, the same good sense of humor, and the same interests than with someone weird and treading unfamiliar territory. Bo-ring. Or maybe I'm just way too lazy to even consider figuring out an alien. I never really liked David Duchovny.
I first met Mark at work. The first thing I noticed was his stance -- confident but not pretentious. He was wearing a crisp, green polo, perfectly ironed khaki pants, shiny leather shoes, the typical manly silver wristwatch, and unframed glasses. Again, bo-ring, I thought. Where the hell are the Ramones and Sex Pistols t-shirts, the stone washed denims, the unlaced chuck taylors, the hippie bracelets, the dark-rim artsyfartsy glasses? And to top it all off, he was busy sweating on some programming language in the computer. I shrugged him off and hoped to find someone more my style in the next days to come -- for sure some rebellious, chain smoker artist thrived somewhere in this vacuumed carpeted world of Ze Corporate.
And there came Peewee, the neighborhood artist. But he was way too neurotic to be genuinely rebellious. That was a side note, by the way. I love you Peewee. Now back to Mark. Hehe.
Mark, I found out later on, was a sweet, caring, huggable gentleman. And when I say gentleman, I mean the knight-in-shining-armor kind. He knew all the basics -- and more -- about being the guy you'd like to bring home to Mom and Dad. And I was never really the type who'd go for such types. I'd be like, bring you home to Mom and Dad? You wish. And then I'd belt out a loud "take me away with you tonight!" from Urbandub's rebel love song, "First of Summer".
But for some reason, Mark got me curious. Interested.
Interested?! You've got to be kidding me. Gentlemen are NOT interesting!
But there was just something so unpretentious about Mark. I mean sure, he knew all the rules in a girl's book by heart, but he never used this rare skill to impress anyone. It just comes out so naturally that one could almost swear he was born with gentleman genes.
And this "interest" went on until the team went to Boracay during the long weekend of Independence Day. For some odd reason, Mark and I got to talk. And I mean "talk", and really spend time getting to know each other. I was like, what in the world? He never "talked" to me before, and he was just, what, two steps away from my workstation? I was already convinced (and content, thankyouverymuch) that I didn't rub off well on him and vice versa -- meticulous business intelligence associates just don't mix well with melancholic copywriters. But for some reason, something glued us together during that long weekend. Please, don't even get started with the whole "the stars in the universe did it".
We both knew we were two very different personalities, but that didn't bother us one bit. And when we finally decided to give this whole dating thing a try, we later on realized that we actually complemented each other. Shut up, I know it's cliche, OK?
For instance, I'm impulsive, and he's everything BUT. It works well both ways. Before I dive in, he makes sure that there aren't any sharks waiting for me. He plans out things and teaches me to be cautious when I need to be cautious. On the flipside, I encourage him to move his cheese and be brave and spontaneous every once in a while.
He's very detail oriented, making sure that every process is well taken note of. And I'm a big picture person. When I get too engrossed with the juicy hamburger I just ordered (seriously, I get ADD attacks like that), he's there to remind me that I actually paid five hundred bucks for it and that I shouldn't forget to claim my change. When he becomes too caught up seeding all those flowers along the way, I'm there to remind him to hop on a chopper and get a bird's eye view of the bouquet he had unconsciously created.
So do opposites really attract? I'm not much for equations like that. But if I'd have to conclude on anything at all, it would be that opposites don't necessarily attract, but an openness to discovery does. When you both embrace the unfamiliar and allow yourselves to eventually make it familiar, you open your door to newness each day. And that's what I think most relationships these days lack -- a willingness to pursue that which puts you out of your comfort zone. We tend to settle for the things we're already accustomed to, and forget that life is all about discovery. It's about unraveling something new the entire time. And believe me, there really are a lot of new things to discover each day.
Settle not for the familiar, for the comfortable, or for the things that are already there. Settle not to settle! Bring in the new, embrace discovery, unwrap hidden treasures, and rest assured that you will experience at least one pleasant surprise each day.
|
|
| Thanks to the country's biggest newspaper! |
[15 Oct 2006|08:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Corrs - Borrowed Heaven |
] |
I'd only gone so much as merely dreaming of getting chosen, and finally, I got my first big break as a writer.
Check out my YOUNGBLOOD contribution featured yesterday, October 14, 2006 on the Philippine Daily Inquirer entitled "My Foolosophy".
Go to this link at inq7.net, but it's really different when you read it straight from the broadsheet. That morning, my Dad acted like the biggest stage father when he suddenly jumped out of bed, saying, "May nag text! You got published!", running towards the gate clad in nothing but boxers to get a copy of The Inquirer from the nearest sari-sari store. Hehe. I seriously thought he bought 20 copies or something. I wouldn't have been surprised if he did!
Thanks PDI!
|
|
| My Box |
[08 Oct 2006|10:29am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Rascal Flatts - Long, Slow, Beautiful Dance |
] |
Kinalkal ko inbox ko kanina and I found this in one of my up_with_the_berks@yahoo.com archives. Nakaka-miss. Anyway, I'd really love to hear your take on this my friends. Post your answers on my comments thread...
So, say you were meeting a new person--blind date, new friend, who knows. And you wanted them to have some idea of what kind of person you are, and who you are. But you can't actually tell them in so many words.
Instead, you have to give them a box, with a dozen things in it for them to look at/read/listen to/taste/whatever. A copy of your journal or a link to your LJ/Friendster/Myspace (or anything of the sort) would be the same thing as just telling them directly, yourself, so that's not allowed.
What 12 things would you put in the box?
1. Keith Urban, Rascal Flatts, Martina McBride, and Carrie Underwood CDs.
2. A worn out horse shoe
3. A crumpled piece of paper with scratchy poetry verses and tear stains
4. An empty bag of Jet Puffed Marshmallows
5. A stick from recently consumed cotton candy
6. Smokey Mountain cassette tape
7. Tony Lambino autographed studio pic
8. A wooden spatula
9. A plane ticket to Albuquerque, New Mexico
10. A bottle of Boracay sand (kahit bawal mag smuggle!)
11. Book pressed daisies
12. St. Benedict pendant
|
|
| Noelaholic |
[07 Oct 2006|01:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Gullemots - Made Up Love Song #43 |
] |
Gian, Chek, Kris, Dad, Rocky, JJ and I went to the Noel Cabangon gig at 70s Bistro in Anonas yesterday. Gian had been pestering me about watching the Noel Cabangon for the longest time, and finally, work allowed me to drop by. Hey, I deserved that one good Friday night -- heck, we'll be on mandatory overtime till December!
After around 6 bottles of cold beer (sarap talaga, it's been such a looong time), I started tipsying out already so I decided to nurse my final bottle. Which didn't exactly save me from embarrassment in front of Noel Cabangon himself. He was like, "So anong kinuha mong course sa Ateneo?" And when I'm drunk, I tend to talk like a freakin' conyotic. And everyone knows you cannot be conyotic around Noel Cabangon the activist. I was like, "Dude, Development Studies, man. Cool di ba." And Noel said, "Ah oo maganda yan. So gusto mo ba mag-NGO?" And then I said, "Yeah dude definitely! Astig yun! *APIR* Pero, I'll be a capitalist first OK? Cuz I need to make ipon before I get into NGO shit diba."
Fuck.
Strange how I was fully aware of what I was saying yet still didn't control myself. When Rocky and JJ jammed on stage, (they played "I Feel Fine" and "Nowhere Man") they got so embarrassed rin cuz they were talking to Noel in English (with matching Beatles twang) and Noel was like, "Yeah. That's right. I know. Alam niyo kasi guys, these boys are my kabarkada from, you know, Kamuning. We had a gig there diba before. Cool. That's why, you know, mayroong twang." ANG LABO DIBA! Parang senglot na rin yata si Noel non. But anyway, it was a real cool night. Noel Cabangon is god. Next project, Noel Cabangon acoustic at Conspiracy next Wednesday. :)
|
|
| That's According to myheritage.com |
[26 Sep 2006|08:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dave Matthews Band - Crush |
] |
Check it out. It says that I look like Katie Holmes 78% of the time. This is crazy, fun, and admittedly very flattering. Except for that Kelly Clarkson bit. Click on the collage, check out Face Recognition and try it out yourself!
|
|
| The Things I've Learned Since Yuppiedom |
[26 Sep 2006|02:37pm] |
It's been half a year since I first stepped into that world after Ateneo called the corporate zoo. I honestly never imagined myself being a corporate practitioner -- I was supposed to go out and change the world and not be a capitalist sellout slash Development Studies graduate poseur like that. But sometimes, you have to make do with what's already in front of you while it's still early. After all, I was on vaycay leave for an entire year -- I can't possibly continue being a couch potato like that while the rest of the world's running forward ahead of me.
6 months doesn't sound like a lot, but I've learned tons during these 6 months.
I learned that every second counts and that there's no such thing as grace period when Compensation & Benefits start computing for your salary. When you log on a single minute after the start of your shift, you get a deduction. And even if it's a measly one, when you go on being late like you were back in Theology class, you'll end up getting a measly monthly salary total as well.
Afterwhich I learned that every centavo counts just as much. You can't rely on your parents for allowance anymore. You make your own allowance, bub. You have to learn how to budget by bringing your Powerpuff lunchbox and waking up early to catch the most convenient train ride (the one where you wouldn't have to line up for 30 minutes just to get the damn ticket into the machine).
I learned that you have to have guts of steel in order to be productive. It really is a zoo in the corporate zoo -- you deal with difficult bosses, annoying colleagues, and sometimes, you have to deal with your equally irritating corporate self, too. The one that finds itself slowly compromising some of its convictions just so the project successfully pushes through. I learned that the idea of compromise is just about setting a good balance, not completely putting aside your principles. It's kinda like being able to distinguish right from wrong. Here, you know what's business and what's personal.
I learned that keeping at least a single hobby will help preserve your sanity. Especially when you work in one hell of a hellhole that is, again, the corporate zoo, where stress always follows you to bed each night until the wee hours of the morning. I try to find the time to write at least every night before I go to sleep. I keep my journal by my bedside so I won't forget. It helps keep the stress off. Try it. Get back to your hobbies. Listen to music. Do yoga. Paint. Read. If I completely put writing aside, I'm sure I'd be the oldest 22-year old you know.
I learned that house music makes sense. Really! Just hear me out, okay? It does! It helps keep the stress off, too. Since every beat sounds the same, it forces you to drift off. It's like a drug, so I really don't see the point why house junkies turn into ecstacy junkies too, when house music can already be a drug in itself.
I learned that you really have to religiously take multivitamins. Again, when you work in a corporate hellhole, you have to have good resistance.
And that includes having good resistance from painful side comments and discouraging insults. You deal with imperfect human beings here, majority of which see work as a race with no boundaries. They'll pick up speed and do whatever it takes -- even when it means putting fellow human beings down -- not just to get to the finish line, but to get there first. You have to learn how to play your own game.
It's been a good 6 months. There's so much I'm still quite clueless about, so let's wait another 6 more months till my next entry.
|
|
| Fayzez |
[26 Sep 2006|01:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Anberlin - Time & Confusion |
] |
Before anything else...
HUWATA BABE!
Happy birthday, Ninang. I bought a cake for you that says "From Gizmo and Pug", because they miss you already. And Gizmo wants to meet Ngoopy. He feels like they're gonna get along well (fag). Hehe. I love you and miss you much!
********************
We only have one life each, but we go through so many different slices of it. It's what most of us call phases. 16-year old's who seem to be perpetually "galit sa mundo", that's a phase. "I'm going through a crossroads at 25", that's another phase. It's like going through so many different kinds of lives in a single lifespan.
Here are some of the phases that I can remember I went through in the last twenty two years...
The "I Want to Be a Doctor When I Grow Up" Phase, 1990
Almost every 6-year old wants to be a doctor when they grow up. I had the plastic, pink and blue stethoscope, the syringe you could also use as a pen, and the Barbie doll with a coma. I didn't even know anything about the seeming glamour of being a successful medical practitioner, or the almost showbiz-like recognition a white coat exudes. I just had so much fun playing with my fake medical kit that I thought all doctors did exactly the same thing, had the exact same pink and blue plastic tools and Barbie patients. Then again, I'd always dread it whenever it was time for my general check-up. Yuck, I'm gonna see Dra. Soriano again. I sure wouldn't want to be HER. Sadist.
The "White and Black Magic" Phase, 1992
My cousins would always tease me about how gullible I was when I was around 8. "Don't step on the cracks on the ground or else an earthquake will break it apart and the ground will eat you alive!" Or "Don't play with cards! That's black magic!" I was superstitious even as a little kid. I think I got it from Mom. ;-)
The "Ghostwriter" Phase, 1994
Remember that preteen show on the old I-Channel called Ghostwriter? I was such a HUGE fan back then, because I was in that Nancy Drew phase. I even started my own Ghostwriter Club -- around 4 of us would all get together for what we called "Rallies" and solve mysteries in secret. Really no-brainer mysteries like, "Does Karen really know Antoinette Taus?" or "Did Ms. Ferrer really misplace her fake teeth, or did she intentionally plan on scaring us when she gave us that evil, evil grin?" We'd read tons of mystery books together and even had aliases -- that was how important we felt being Ghostwriters.
The "Blond Boy" Phase, 1995-1997
...which was also considered my boyband phase, that time when the Backstreet Boys and Boyzone hit the music business (and our hearts *giggle*) by storm. Nick Carter and Ronan Keating were my ultimate favorites -- nothing beats the blond boy. I never camped out but I did head straight to Limits Disco after school to line up early for the Boyzone concert. Oh I'm sorry -- they called it "promo tours" back then. I was swept away. It lasted for an entire three years.
The "Real Band" Phase, 1997-1999
Real band my ass. I was into Hanson and The Moffatts. I'd collect pin-ups of them from Teen Beat. I cried when I read in the newspaper that the Hanson boys were coming to town, and made my boyfriend drive to Megamall to get us both IDs for the press conference -- which didn't push through by the way, because of the damn Abu Sayaf scare (or was it because there were rumors that Hanson called Filipinos monkeys?). I did watch The Moffatts though, during their, ahem, promo tour at the Hard Rock Cafe. It was a full house, and I almost didn't get in, until my friends and I decided to push down the entrance door. It was so crazy that the entrance door mob made it to the papers the following day.
The "Rule Breaker" Phase, 1997-2001
Yes, I was notorious the entire time during high school. I'd cut classes, pick on kids who weren't part of my crowd, initiate fights, vandalize, smoke in the bathroom, lock the classroom from the inside after recess and hide the keys so Religion class would get postponed, and clean the entire cafeteria whenever I got caught -- which was almost all the time, and intentional. This is the ultimate high school phase in my opinion. Almost everyone goes through this. I had such a hard time getting into a good college, not because of my academic record (which was, mind you, very good), but because of my disciplinary record. I got lucky end of summer after high school graduation when Ateneo called, scheduling me for an interview with a priest. I got even luckier when I got in.
The "College" Phase, 2001-2003
I absolutely loved being in college to the point of almost literally taking it all in. I wouldn't mind eating alone in the cafeteria or lounge at Starbucks with Haruki Murakami or Albert Camus in one hand, and a shot of espresso and a cigarette in the other, simply because college people were "independent" and "secure" like that. I'd listen to John Mayer, Jason Mraz, and a little bit of Dave Matthews. I'd watch live college basketball and football. I'd wear preppy stuff. Everything there was about being conventionally college, the stuff we'd see on The Real World and read about in Cosmopolitan, I went through that phase bit by bit.
The "Serious Boyfriend" Phase, 2002-2004
College life won't be complete without the "serious boyfriend". Flings, back then, were so high school. In college, you'd experience both the feeling of being truly loved by someone as well as the feeling of getting stuck with someone. Significant others slowly become part of the family, unlike during high school when you had to hide it from the folks. You're not too young to get into a real relationship anymore, but not old enough to get married. It's an in-between sort of thing, but there's no doubt that genuine partnership is present.
The "Yuppie" Phase, 2005 to present
I'm now a "Young Urban Professional" according to Cosmopolitan. I don't do preppy anymore except on casual Fridays. I go to Starbucks, not to lounge, but to meet with potential shareholders. Okay, make that UCC. I deal with difficult colleagues and bosses. I get drowned with paperwork. I go to bars and listen to house music to unwind. Every once in a while, I'd scout for my own place and buy my own groceries. And I'm now old enough to consider getting married.
I wonder what my next phase would be like, or if I'll ever get out of the Yuppie phase. Well, of course I will, except that in the next 8 or 10 years, I'd be an Uppie instead of a Yuppie. Heh.
But isn't that the fascinating thing about phases? While you're going through one, you'd think that this chapter would last forever, until you'd one day look back and recount all the slices you took, all the changes that's happened in your life, and end up thinking to yourself, ano ba talaga?! Who the hell's the real me in all this? Well, if I were to pick out one possible phase that everyone's gonna go through for the rest of their lives, one phase that would remain, it would be that we are constantly searching and finding out who we truly are. And that perpetual phase doesn't sound so bad at all when you think about it. At least there's something to look forward to and try to figure out each day. And that's what makes each lifespan exciting.
|
|
| My Foolosophy |
[07 Sep 2006|11:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Jingle Bell Rock - Chubby Checker and Bob Ryndell |
] |
Public relations make up probably around 98% of my job description as a branding associate. I rarely do desk work. You'd usually see me going from one convention-slash-cocktail-party to the next, rubbing elbows, establishing close ties, and constantly running out of calling cards. Okay, maybe I exaggerated on the latter, but we all know that I'd have to request for a new batch, eventually.
I never really imagined myself doing PR, what with how I was back in the day -- that passive girl quietly walking around campus with her purple backpack filled with used up journals and pens running out of ink, looking for a nice, shady spot (preferrably under a tree) to sit engagingly with the equally passive natural resources before her so she can come up with what she liked to call "foolosophies". That was me. It still is actually, sometimes. When I'm lucky. Right now, everything's so fast paced. Sadly, I haven't thought of a single foolosophy in a long time. But who knows, maybe this new article will miraculously turn out to be one.
I dunno, but God does work in myseterious ways. I landed on the job as would any fresh grad -- by chance. I took it, again as would any fresh grad -- instantly! Hey, it was an opportunity. And hey, it's IBM. I didn't even know exactly what brand management entailed, but whatever right? At least now I can finally rise up from ultimate bum-dom.
My job can be tiring but it can be fulfilling too. Take for instance one of my responsibilities -- academe linkages. There was a time when I started missing school terribly, and I mean terribly to the point of crying myself to sleep, thinking about Ateneo like I'd think about a guy I couldn't get over with. I'm not kidding. But when I started taking on the role as university liaison, I finally started feeling better. I get to be thisclose to academic life again, and even if it were so at a different level, at least I still get to taste the vibrance found only in a group of people whose only worry was to meet the grade point average... or how to finally ask for "that hottie's" number. It's refreshing. Feels like I get to be a student again.
But aren't we all gonna be students for the rest of our lives? I'd like to believe so. I learned from Philosophy (not foolosophy) that as long as a person's alive, there's no such thing as an ultimate answer. Because the person will never stop asking questions, again, as long as that person's breathing. It sounds kinda draining at first, sort of like saying Ha! You'll never know, loser. You'll never know. But it's kinda exciting too. It means there's something new to look forward to each day, each breath we take, and each beat our hearts make. Because as long as we're alive, there will always be new discoveries.
I did two of the most memorable talks I've had so far at Asia Pacific College and UP Diliman. I don't wanna call them career or company talks, even if technically they were. As cheesy as it may sound, I tagged them as motivational spiels. When it comes to my job, I especially enjoy standing before the students themselves and telling them about, well, hopefully what they really need to know as near graduates. I always try to instill in their minds that learning does not end once you get your college diploma, or once you enter the world outside school -- that world that seems to think it knows everything.
You'll never know everything as long as you're alive. But that's the beauty of being alive.
Trust me, the best part about living is that you get to live it as a student constantly trying to come up with his/her own foolosophies. And I mean for the rest of it. For the rest of your life.
Now that's what I call a foolosophy.
|
|
| Looking back before i... |
[20 Aug 2006|10:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
I celebrated my 21st birthday in Gallup, New Mexico with Mom. That was, by far, the best birthday present I ever got. The last time I celebrated my birthday with Mom was during my 16th if I remember correctly. I just couldnâ??t bear the thought of having to spend another year without her.
I woke up that morning to the sound of Dadâ??s voice being recorded in the answering machine. Mom picked up the phone although she knew the phone call was for me. I was still a bit groggy to walk out of bed. Next thing I knew, she was already crying. She passed the phone to my brother, I ran out of bed and watched as Marty slowly handed the phone to me. I looked at him and I understood that something really painful happened â?? he had that glassy look.
Wilf died on my birthday. It was something I was only able to accept and fully comprehend after six months, when I finally flew back to Manila. Wilf was my soulmate. Itâ??s still by far the most painful thing Iâ??d ever experienced, and I hated it not only because it had to happen on my birthday, but because it happened while I was away. I experienced both life and death on my 21st â?? something Iâ??ll never really be able to understand.
Boracay helped me let go. It was mid March, and my sister, Mark, Peachy, and I decided to do seconds. It was a lot more peaceful compared to the one we had before that. For instance, we ended up spending our supposed Party Night walking away from Cocomangas, thinking how icky itâ??s become through the years (case in point: disgusting throw pillows on the sand and "characters" getting wasted all over the place), and just talking and laughing the night away at Café Breizh. We slept early most of the nights too, which is crazy when you think about it. I mean hello, youâ??re in Bora. I guess weâ??ve already grown tired of the letâ??s-get-wasted-in-Bora mindset. And again, it helped me grieve in a different way.
I didnâ??t only have to let go of Wilf then. I let go of so many people I used to love and trust with my entire life. I let go of people I thought were my friends, people I thought truly inspired me, people I thought would forever change my life for the better. But some of these people offended my trust. Some of these people not only disappointed me â?? they hurt me until my heart bled. Although letting go of these people hurt even more than going through those things while being with them, Iâ??m thankful Iâ??m out of that rut already. I still miss these folks and I always will, but I canâ??t continue ruining my life anymore. I had to make that decision.
I had my first job at 21. I was taken in as a Senior Branding Associate at IBM. I was given mostly public relations stuff, and I helped out a lot in communications and advertising as well. It was nice for a first job. Nothing too demanding nor too idle either.
Yes, Iâ??m still in IBM and I still do Branding. Itâ??s been a rollercoaster to say the least and several times have I already seen myself wanting to quit, but I never did. Itâ??s more like a couldnâ??t I guess, because on the flipside, I feel blessed with what I do. I enjoy it, even though it's tiring. I learn so many new things each day and it keeps me invigorated. The people are great, and I wouldnâ??t have met him if it werenâ??t for IBM... :-)
I never thought Iâ??d meet someone whoâ??s so different from me but whoâ??d fit into my world just as perfectly. It feels great to be happy again, donâ??t you think?
Tomorrow, I turn 22. I honestly feel a bit sad having to let go of being 21. I went through so much this year, and I can only hope Iâ??d still be able to bring all the memories gained and lessons learned as another year unfolds.
It also kinda sucks that I wasnâ??t able to go to Vegas at 21 but what the hell. Happy birthday to me!
|
|
| Beautiful Stranger |
[06 Aug 2006|01:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 satisfied |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Frou Frou - It's Good to Be in Love |
] |
My cousin invited me and my sister to the FCPH (French Connection Philippines) fashion party she helped organize at the Alliance Francaise de Manille just a few hours ago. At first, I decided to go only cuz my cousin organized it, and all my support goes out to her. I wasn't really the type who'd go to such functions -- skinny people, celery sticks, and Kate Torralba are just way too "burgis" for my taste. The only thing I love about fashion shows is that models strut to house music. I absolutely love house music.
Anyway, at around 5PM I was already overly worked up and pressured because I didn't have anything decent to wear. All my clothes are either grunge or preppy, and my cousin particularly said to make sure that we dress to impress. I ended up borrowing my sister's black and white polka dot backless halter top (pictures will follow), black flood pants, and my stiletto pumps I once swore never to use again, because they murdered my feet during graduation day.
After putting on midnight silver eyeshadow and scarlet lipstick, I glanced at the mirror and realized that hey, it's actually fun dressing up for an occasion like this. And for the first time in a while, I actually looked kinda "glam". Yes naman.
We arrived and I was greeted by a really cute French guy's flirty wink. My reflex was to flirtatiously smile back, wink, and wave at him, you know the spirit fingers kind of wave. I laughed at myself while my sister pretended to barf. That was when I finally started to relax. I told myself that this was definitely gonna be, surprisingly, a good night.
And indeed, it turned out to be an awfully good night. Kate Torralba's interpretation of French fashion was spectacular. I was actually expecting something really weird and flashy and too high fashion for my taste, but I'd actually wear her stuff myself! The models were Camille Prats (who's actually quite pretty for someone who once played Princess Sarah), Iza Calzado (who was absolutely gorgeous), and Isabel Oli (who's damn thin). I had two glasses of good champagne, shared smiles with a cute guy or two, enjoyed the company of my sister, cousins, friends, and beautiful strangers.
I never thought I'd enjoy such a seemingly superficial atmosphere. Okay, I admit that ramp parties are superficial, but they're fascinating as well. (not to mention so much fun!)
After hanging out with all those skinny people, Ate, David, and I went straight to Rockwell to get our carb fix at Gram's Diner. The night was perfectly capped off with lots of laughs, catching up, and eskimo pie. ;-)
I'll post pictures soon. I'm using such a jurassic PC right now that can't hold my camera's software. I'll just transfer our pretty Laguna-Beach-meets-The-O.C. pictures next time...
Cheers!
|
|
| Happy Agenda for every 15th of the month |
[16 Jul 2006|04:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
good |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
APO Hiking Society - Panalangin |
] |
It was the 15th, and this was our agenda:
3:00 to 6:00PM - The Spa, Acropolis. Get Swedish massage packages with three other exhausted chicas, whose work profiles are as follows:
1. Niña Mercado, 6th and 7th grade guidance counselor, Ateneo de Manila University. Beat up from all the stress only juveniles are capable of producing. Yes, it's that kind of horrible stress.
2. Patricia Poco, Manager - The Bloomfields. At least four gigs a week, not including the sporadic private party gigs, an upcoming out-of-town stint, handling five stubborn, difficult-to-please artists, and all this while keeping an equally stressful day job.
3. Ian Rica Roxas, Photographer and TV Producer - The Bloomfields and Red Balloon, respectively. Projects, projects, projects.
8:00 to 9:00PM - Call for an exclusive cab pick-up going to the Makati Shang.
9:00 to 10:30PM - Eat everything your digestive track can handle at Circles.
11:00PM to 4:00AM - The Bloomfields gig, Hard Rock Cafe. Sip on red wine while listening to a live cover of "High Class Baby".
Akala mo kung sinong mataas ang sweldo, noh? It was a good day, though. We all deserved some heavy pampering, from massage oil treatments to good dessert, wine, and music. Hard Rock wasn't exactly a very nice place, but it's the company that made it all worthwhile. I loved Circles, though.
A happy agenda I shall probably revisit after three months. I need to replenish my wallet first.
|
|
| My Most Profound Birthday EVER. |
[10 Jul 2006|10:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Wolfmann - Para |
] |
I was browsing through my old diaries, already breeding molds under my bed. And I found this entry, dated August 1, 2002:
i will officially be of legal age on the 21st of august. now i can watch all the bold movies i want. "itlog", here i come!
Can't get any deeper than that when reflecting about turning a year older now can you?
|
|
| From annemaws :-) |
[08 Jul 2006|01:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Beach Boys - Be True to Your School |
] |
5 years ago...
How old were you?: Just about to turn 17.
What grade were you in?: College Freshman
Where did you go to school?: Ateneo de Manila University
Where did you live?: Quezon City for ever.
Where did you hang out 5 years ago?: I was just starting to get addicted to Rockwell that time.
How was your hair style?: Shoulder length, always up on a ponytail or messy bun.
Did you wear braces?: Nope. I didn't have to! Naks.
Did you wear glasses?: Yes. Maroon-rimmed ones. Artsy fartsy.
Who were your best friends?: Clarissa del Rosario and Annette Ferrer!
Who was your boyfriend?: We hadn't met yet.
Who was your celebrity crush?: Jason Mraz. Hahaha!
Who was your regular-person crush?: Reuben Uy! He was my English blockmate. Hahaha!
How many piercings did you have?: One on each ear.
How many tattoos did you have?: None.
What was your favorite band?: I was into the solo acoustic acts back then like Jason Mraz and John Mayer. So college!
What was your biggest fear?: Wearing the same shirt within the same week! Hahaha!
Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: Yes. I was still a smoker then.
Had you gotten drunk or high yet?: Drunk, yes. High, nope.
Had you driven yet?: Nope, and I still don't know how to.
Which of your pets were still alive?: I can't remember if Tiger was still alive that time. And we also just got Matteuk, I think. Who's also dead now.
Now fill this out, post the results, to see how
much things have changed since then.
Present Day...
How old are you?: Just about to turn 22.
What grade are you in?: Already a year out of college, working fulltime in a corporate setting, and part time as an artist.
What school did you attend?: Finished all four years in Ateneo, and now working at IBM and doing some freelance work as well.
Where do you live?: Quezon City forever.
Where do you hang out now?: Still addicted to Rockwell and Greenbelt, but I frequent a lot of party places now too, like Eastwood and Metrowalk, to watch my boys.
How is your hair style now?: Shoulder length, kinda wild with in-your-face bangs. Yeah! And I don't tie it up anymore, except in the shower.
Do you wear braces?: Nope, but I think I already need to.
Do you wear glasses?: I wear contact lenses now. Naks!
Who are your best friends?: Ishy, whom I haven't seen in a looong time.
Who is your boyfriend?: Wala pa... be patient!
Who is your celebrity crush?: Brandon Routh. Sigh...
Who is your regular-person crush?: Seeecreeeet!
How many piercings do you have?: Still one on each ear.
How many tattoos do you have?: None... for now...
What are your favorite bands?: My boys, of course. A lot of 50s/60s rock 'n' roll bands and artists like The Who, The Beatles, The Four Freshmen, The Shadows, Dave Clark 5, Elvis, Chuck Berry... and I listen to a lot of house and trance too -- Hed Kandi, Chicane, Frou Frou, Tiesto, Kaskade, Moony, Squid9, Morse, Daydreamcycle, Drip, and Wolfmann.
What is your biggest fear?: Getting sick.
Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: I have to quit. I'll be on the gum soon.
Have you gotten drunk or high yet?: Yes. Yes.
Have you driven yet?: Hindi pa rin!!!
Which of your pets are still alive?: Gizmo and Pug.
|
|
| Dying Young is Overrated |
[04 Jul 2006|04:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Gavin DeGraw - Dreams |
] |
It's really scary when you seem to be dragging yourself out of bed each weekday morning and watching the clock for the second hand to finally end your workshift. I learned that from my sister.
Work's starting to take its toll on me, physically that is. Two weeks ago, I was down with a systemic viral infection. Last week, I was brand spankin' new. And today, I'm on sick leave again, and this time with an even worse kind of diagnosis I've yet to find out from my pulmonologist. I can hardly breathe. And I'm not trying to sound sappy here.
Take a look at a recent SMS correspondence with my sister, who took medical studies:
ME: Shit, ayoko na mag-yosi. Tingin mo, emphysema ito? Halos hindi na talaga ako makahinga ng maayos!
ATE: Yes, that's right. Smoking can be a huge factor. (insert medical mumbo jumbo here), that's why cigarettes lead to almost every disease and sickness. Hindi pa naman siguro emphysema yan.
ME: Sana nga. Natatakot talaga ako magka-emphysema at rabies -- yung dalawang sakit na yun, takot talaga ako!
I know I won't have rabies unless I let some galis infested askal bite me, but I'm really scared of emphysema. Lord Winston's locked up in my office pedestal right now, away from his mistress. Hopefully, absence won't make the heart (and lungs) grow fonder.
Going back to the dragging yourself out of bed bit, I worry because it's only been 4 months, and I wanna go back to New Mexico for another 6-month break. Just so I get to rest and eventually get tired of resting and end up wanting to work again. I'm not enjoying it anymore. Plus, I'm becoming weaker and weaker by the day. I'll be confiding to my boss about it this week for sure.
Pray for me you guys. Dying young is overrated.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
bergdork's journal